Thursday, November 09, 2006

Health Report

An Open Invitation to My 90th
Blood count, kidney and liver function, blood sugar, all normal. Cholesterol was 118, less than 200 recommended. Triglycerides (what the hell are they?) were 50, less than 200 recommended. HDL good cholesterol was 48, more than 45 recommended, and LDL bad cholesterol was 60, less than 130 recommended.

I highly recommend a life of diet and exercise. For everyone else there is Lipitor. It works splendidly for me. Truly better living through chemistry.

So I have started planning my 90th birthday celebration. I will probably be a drooling vegetable but my heart, liver, and kidneys will still be working.

Longevity, if I should be so lucky, would be a mixed blessing. I am an absurd old tory now. How much a dinosaur lingering into the cenezoic will I be in 2036?

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous9:41 PM

    I am certain that sex helps the brain stay alive. I'll help your brain and you can help mine. We can attend each other's 90th. You will still be a hot stud then.