Friday, July 28, 2006

The French

Soothing Hard Feelings
In the interests of Franco-American amity let me correct a widespread misunderstanding.

The French are not frogs. They EAT frogs. And snails.


  1. The Scorpion9:24 PM

    Speaking of Franco-American relations:

    Spaghetti-Os Discontinued As Franco-American Relations Break Down

    PARIS—With talks collapsing at the 11th hour, Franco-American relations hit an all-time low Monday, casting the future of Spaghetti-Os-brand canned pasta in serious doubt.


    "Thus far, three months of negotiations have yielded bitter fruit," French minister of foods Guy Charpentier said. "Despite concessionary offers from both sides, no acceptable compromise has been reached on a number of key issues, including sauce tanginess, sodium levels, and pasta-ring size. As a result, the sort of friendly Franco-American partnership necessary to produce the neat, round spaghetti one can eat with a spoon may no longer be possible."

    U.S. Canned Goods Secretary James Miller echoed Charpentier's sentiments with a terse, "Uh-oh... Spaghetti-Os are in grave jeopardy."

    An ambitious Franco-American joint venture, Spaghetti-Os have been a source of tension between France and the U.S. since August, when the 10-year accord governing its production expired. U.S. delegates have refused to renew the pact unless numerous revisions are made, including a 60-40 split of profits.

    "We contribute a majority of the ingredients, including all of the thiamine mononitrate, ferrous sulfate, and enzyme-modified butter—not to mention all the paper for the labels—so we should get a majority of the proceeds," Miller said.

    At 11 a.m. Monday, operations at L'Usine Des Os, the world's largest Spaghetti-Os manufacturing plant, ground to a halt, leaving the world with as little as a week's supply of Spaghetti-Os in reserve. Meanwhile, French efforts to replace the O-shaped pasta with plain, easier-to-produce long spaghetti have proven fruitless, with the U.S. threatening to withhold Ravioli-Os from French supermarkets if there is an "embarg-O."

  2. I believe there is an Irish silent partner to the deal, The firm of O'Banion & O'Neill of O'Shamrock, an industrial suburb of O'Dublin.

  3. Trashman12:22 PM

    Hey...Is this a blog or a static web page? When I come here I want new stuff...updated crap that I can comment on go blah blah blah about. This crap here is at least a week old. Get with it!

  4. Trashman6:08 PM

    That did's been too long now. You lose your L. This is now officially a bog.