Morris returns from a long business trip and finds out that his wife
has been unfaithful during his time away.
"Who was it!!!???" he yells. "That alta kakker Goldstein?"
"No," replied his wife. "It wasn't Goldstein."
"Was it Feldman, that dirty old man?"
"No, not him."
"Aha! Then it must have been that idiot Rabinovich!"
"No, it wasn't Rabinovich either..."
Morris was now fuming. "What's the matter?" he cried. "None of my
friends are good enough for you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa .
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most
of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode
your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets
can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused
by the germs in our drinking water.
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, and we all
have, or will, eat it. Would anyone care to guess what food causes the
most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a small 75-year-old Jewish man in the
front row, raised his hand and said, "Vedding Cake?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Miriam was dying and on her deathbed, she gave final instructions to
her husband Sidney.
"Sidney , you've been so good to me all these years. I know you never
even thought about another woman. But now that I'm going, I want you
to marry again as soon as is possible and I want you to give your new
wife all my expensive clothes."
"I can't do that, darling," Sidney said. "You're a size 16 and she's only a 10."
You gonna keep this up until someone laughs?
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