WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In a moving White House ceremony today, President Hu Jintao of China presented US President Barack Obama with a counterfeit DVD of the Hollywood blockbuster Toy Story 3.
Mr. Hu raised eyebrows at several points of his official speech, especially when he repeatedly addressed the American people as “my subjects.”
But the Chinese president ended his speech on an upbeat note about the relationship between the two countries: “In conclusion, America owes me the first month’s rent and the security deposit.”
Speaking to the press, Mr. Hu noted the historic nature of his meeting with President Obama: “It was the first time I’d met a Nobel Peace Prize winner who wasn’t in prison.”
Mr. Obama told reporters that he hoped to speak to Mr. Hu about China’s human rights record, but said, “To be honest, we’ve got as much leverage with China as a guy who’s three months late on his car payments has with the repo man.”
Meanwhile, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg took advantage of Mr. Hu being out of the country to friend 1.3 billion Chinese.