Thursday, November 19, 2009

Lighting a Yizkor Candle for Myself

I have just come from visiting a friend near death from lung cancer and viral pneumonia in a hospital in Fresno.

I am starting to hear time's winged chariot at my own back and it has made me impatient to get on with my own life and stop stalling around. I have remembered forcibly that four of the past five years have been good ones because they were scheduled, even scripted. When I returned from Alaska a year ago I had run off the end of the schedule I made up when I retired in 2004.

It has become clear to me that I have been drifting in the year since. And that I have been drifting because I have not drawn up a new schedule / calendar of what I want to do tomorrow, this week, month, year, and in the coming five years.

Watching a friend not much older than I am probably dying in a hospital bed has torn away the veil of complacency I have let grow over my sloth, inactivity, lethargy, procrastination, laziness, indecision. It is time to decide what to do, decide when to do it, and then get on with it. Right now.

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