Depression

Reasons for Being Depressed

Raiders embarrassing themselves 29 - 10, now 2 and 5
49'ers losing on turnovers to a 1 and 5 team
market down the dumper
having to vote for a shagetz for president again
two-buck Chuck no longer drinkable
unable to parse limerick
Leno's monologue no longer funny
Jeopardy questions about television programs I have never heard of
Arnold Toynbee turning out to be a fraud
Finding the same person in mirror as always -- bored with being me
RV a useless millstone
worthless tenant being a passive-aggressive butthole
healthy diet tedious
life passing me by
booze boring
sobriety boring
boredom boring

I need a vacation...