Thursday, April 01, 2010

April First


The news is that a Negro has been elected President of the United States. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! April Fools! No, wait....

The United States, the richest country in the world and the citadel of world capitalism, is broke and in hock up to its hocks to China, a poor over-crowded Communist country that is rolling in money. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! .... Oh Damn!

The Nobel Prize committee awarded the Peace prize to a president engaged in fighting two wars because he promised to widen only one of them. Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja!

The two best movies were both directed by the members of the same divorced couple and they went head to head for Best Picture at the Oscars. Oh, puhleeze darling... What a silly story lne - who plays them? The Muppets? Reallllly. Tell me another. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

In that perennial hotbed of humor, the Middle East, the son of the founder of Hamas has admitted to being an Israeli agent. He converted to Christianity and moved to the US and now lives in Fremont. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! ....Oh....Wait, bear with me.

A blind man is governor of New York and an Austrian weightlifter is governor of California. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! What? I screwed it up again? On both? Geeze.

The Supreme Court ruled that corporations are people entitled to free speech. Even though they don't have mouths or brains? Let alone souls or consciences. Apparently having mouthpieces and managements are close enough. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm wrong? Again? Dustin Hoffman as Ratso in 'Midnight Cowboy' - "I can't unnerstan' it. I keep gettin' beat."

A woman infamous for her tactlessness is Secretary of State, our chief diplomat. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I blew it again?

The Pope Benedict XVI found complicit in priests buggering choirboys. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Like that could happen. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! It did?

France elected a pro-American president. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! ... Zut! Alors! Sacre bleu!

I called a Japanese company for help with the Chinese-made cellphone an American phone company sold me. A guy in India answered the phone. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Come on, Festus, you gotta do better than that.

Oh, to hell with it - I give up. Welcome to April.

6 comments:

  1. Anonymous3:37 PM

    The only joke here is your attempts at humor you zionist dog

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous12:28 PM

    Allah Jihad.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I wish Anonymous would get her taxonomy straight. Today I appear to be a dog. No discussion of what breed. I would like to think perhaps a schnauzer or a basset hound.

    But since the Muslims who so honestly and sincerely proclaim everyone else racist also insist that Jews are descended from apes and pigs, I feel entitled to more detail about that too. Gibbons are elegant little apes so I think that would be a good choice. Also a famous and excellent English historian of that name makes for a good double entendre. I don't know much about pigs but the ones in the movie "Babe" were charming. I read somewhere that they were Yorkshire Whites or some such.

    So I hope that in the future, racist Muslims morons (only one breed of those that I know of) like Anonymous when spewing their brainless twaddle will refer to me by my full title of Sheik Omar Schnauzer-Gibbon-Yorkshire White.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jasmin3:43 PM

    Who do you think you are you horrible Jew rat. It makes me so happy that the world now sees the dirt and shit your filthy people represent. The few good people that haven't been brainwashed by your illegal illegitimate filth society like Anat Kam are tried for treason without rights, and you have the cheek to criticize my state while your illegal state behaves like Nazi Germany, that is ironic on so many levels. And to follow on from the vomit you spurted in your other post, Ahmadinejad does represent the majority of Iranians - he doesn't represent rich pompous bastardized americanized shit for brain students. You deluded wretch of a dog!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Actually Jasmin, you are half right. Ahmadinejad does NOT represent literate intelligent educated people in Iran, the people who risked their lives and careers in the struggle against the shah. Ahmadinejad does represent foul-mouthed primitive semi-illiterates like you. The ignorant people like you who betrayed the revolution that was intended to bring democracy and modernity to Iran.

    I don't think foul-mouthed screaming morons like you are a majority in Iran. I think that if screaming ignorant morons like you were actually in the majority, the Council of Guardians would not be so afraid to hold fair and open elections. After all, it is easily fooled clowns like you whom they count on to keep them and Ahmadinejad in power.

    I assume from your remarks about Iranian students (both of this generation and of the generation of 1979) that you were unable to get into a college or university. It is not hard to see why.

    As to who I am Jasmin, I am someone considerably smarter, better educated, with better taste and morals, than people like you. I am also less hysterical and inarticulate than you will ever be. I have every right to condescend to you and to treat you as an inferior. That is who I am.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nick Danger10:31 PM

    Box Score:

    Anonymous, -3

    Jasmin, -7

    Jack, +11

    ReplyDelete