Thursday, April 22, 2010

Trip Report #2

[Wisconsin skeptic]

From Menomonie

I came here under the illusion that Wisconsin would be flat. It isn't. So far it is an endless expanse of stubbornly rolling country. Tiring and slow work on a bicycle.

When I rest by the side of a country road, cows gather to curiously stare at me. They are all thinking, "Moron! Who told you it was flat?" but they are too polite to say anything.

I am also learning the limits of Herb Caen's dictum, "When traveling, always drink the l0cal stuff. It is likely to be the best you'll get." In Wisconsin the local stuff includes Pabst Blue Ribbon, Busch, Keystone, and other such brews mainly useful for poisoning neighborhood dogs who have overturned your garbage cans once too often.

Speaking of dogs, I am here without my dog-bashing club. On two occasions today I drove away aggressive dogs by staring at them with a steady unfriendly glare and advancing toward them. Both times they ran away. I hope I won't run into any dogs who are not such pussies as those two.

I don't know how long it will take to ride across Wisconsin except that it will be considerably longer than I anticipated.

I have been listening to "Murder at the Vicarage" by Agatha Christie, a Miss Marple mystery. Delightful stuff.

11 comments:

  1. I think that cow probably has the best local brew.

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  2. Of course! Why didn't I think of that? Now to sneak up on her and ...

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  3. I think you would be good at that....

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  4. At getting fresh with ladies I have just met?

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  5. Yes...and getting them to share their nectar.

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  6. Nectar is best when shared....

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  7. Anonymous4:49 PM

    I know Jack, tell them the story about the cows at the slaughter house. It sure worked for me

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  8. Cows at the slaughterhouse?

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  9. Anonymous9:53 AM

    when two women pass at your door - and reality sets in

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  10. Anonymous, writing blog comments while stoned into incoherence on dope is sooo passe.

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